Words cannot encompass the amusement that oozes from my person.

Beer company executive, chief commercial pitcher and former Senate candidate Pete Coors confirmed Thursday he was cited in May for driving under the influence of alcohol after leaving a friend’s wedding celebration.

You just can’t make up shit like this.

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Technorati Tags: Pete Coors, Drunk Driving, Coors, DUI

Now what the hell kinda course was this teacher giving?

Apparently he was handling the grenade when it went off. He has been identified as Abdul Rahman. A security official said on condition of anonymity that the pin on his grenade was accidentally removed, and that two of his companions were wounded in the blast.

I should point out this took place in an area that is controlled by the Taliban.

I can honestly say that this guy qualifies for a Darwin Award.

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Technorati Tags: Muslim teacher, Taliban, Madrassas, Darwin Award

During a CNN interview with Lewis Black, he demands that they take down that blasted ticker from the bottom of the screen. Best part…they did it.

Technorati Tags: Lewis Black, Comedy, CNN Interview, The Crawl

When higher education puts the stress on “high”. Columbia University and UC Berkeley sat down and decided to try and figure out why UN diplomats don’t pay their parking tickets. Um, ok.

Their main finding was that diplomats were more likely to run up unpaid parking fines if they hailed from countries with a history of unchecked corruption, such as Nigeria.

But a second factor - poor U.S. image - emerged when the researchers matched the list of offenders against a 2002 world public opinion survey performed by the Pew Research Center.

Well, Toronto can safely say that they are not the only place that gets screwed by dead beats.

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Technorati Tags: Dead Beats, Parking Fines, UN Diplomats, NY Parking

Now I’ve heard about big tippers but, this one takes the cake.

Baker has used Faraj, a native of Lebanon, as his driver on trips to Chicago for several years. Making small talk months ago, Baker learned of Faraj’s poor health and struggle to find a kidney donor with a matching blood type.

“At that time, he tells me, ‘What’s your blood type?’ I tell him O-positive,” Faraj said. “He said, ‘I’m 0-positive. I’ll give you one.’”

So, I guess there is hope for the world yet.

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Technorati Tags: Limo Driver, Big Tipper, Donated Kidney, Organ Donor

Please, whatever you do, for the love of (insert deity) don’t be eating while you read this piece.

Hundreds of people are thronging a hospital in the eastern Indian city of Kolkata to see a patient holding a piece of his own skull that fell off.

Doctors say a large, dead section of 25-year-old electrician Sambhu Roy’s skull came away Sunday after severe burns starved it of blood.

For more information on this vomit inducing piece follow the link.

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Technorati Tags: Weird, Gross, Nasty, Piece of Skull

An immigration problem with a nanny, my ass.

Bernard Kerik, the former New York City police commissioner and onetime Bush cabinet nominee, pleaded guilty in June 2006 to a pair of misdemeanors for improperly accepting $165,000 in gifts while working as Gotham’s jails boss.

One down…

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Technorati Tags: Bernard Kerik, Guilty, Bush, NYPD, Police

This is too funny for words. Coffee came out of my nose.

In the past, LASIK surgery was an expensive procedure that could only be performed by skilled professionals in a doctor’s office or eye clinic. Often costing upwards of $1000 per eye and almost never covered by insurance, Laser-Assisted In Situ Keratomileusis (LASIK) was beyond the reach of most Americans.

Now the revolutionary LASIK@Home system makes clear vision affordable for everyone.

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Technorati Tags: Funny Crap, Lasik, Lasik At Home, Cull The Herd

Well, there’s one sure fire way to get out of a jail sentence. So, no thick necked guy named bubba will be breathing on the back of Ken Lay’s head afterall. No tears to be shed by me for this clown.

In a statement, spokeswoman Kelly Kimberly said, “The Lays have a very large family with whom they need to communicate, and out of respect for the family we will release further details at a later time.”

Lay “suffered a massive coronary and died,” according to his pastor, Dr. Steve Wende of Houston’s First United Methodist Church. “Apparently, his heart simply gave out.”

I wonder if he’s feeling hot where he is now?

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Technorati Tags: Ken Lay, Enron, Heart attack, Kenneth Lay, Thief, Fraud

Sometimes a funny gag can go wayyyy to far.

OK, so not everyone is into football, and to those who are not enthusiasts this must feel like the longest month ever, but that hardly justifies the sick joke that unknown perpetrators played recently on football fans in Berlin. Someone seems to have gone out of their way to cause people genuine harm by placing six footballs on the capital’s streets and a sign asking people to kick them. The catch? The balls were filled with concrete.

Brainless morons. If you know who was responsbile for this prank please contact Berlin police.

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Technorati Tags: Soccer, FIFA, World Cup, Jackasses, Concrete Footballs